- Denise Gosliner Orenstein, The Secret Twin

I thought it would be appropriate to add a post from a previous entry that was in the archives. Sometimes people change and not always for the better.... Sometimes being too selfish is not always a solution. Sometimes words can hurt. Sometimes being too 'playful' is perceived as being insensitive. Sometimes lack of good conversations makes it boring. Sometimes when intentions can't be read/perceived are seen as wasting each other's time. There are many "sometimes", but I'm only interested in this time. I look for genuineness, integrity, dignity, intelligence, honesty, wit, humor and the list goes on....but I'm too lazy to write more so some reminders I think would be befitting and useful:

How to be a good lover...

Be interested. Someone who gives off vibes of not giving a shit, well obviously the other person isn't going to either. If you're not interested, you're wasting your time and their's. Talk about rude.

Be sincere. You can say nice things, but make them mean something. Even if you're saying something they don't want to hear, it's better than lying. You'll also receive their respect for standing your grounds and saying your mind.

Be loving. You don't have to be in love to be loving. You don't have to be committed or seriously involved. To be loving is to have your precious attention solely focused on the person in front of you, to listen to them, to touch them, hold them and kiss them.

Be tactful. There is no need for awkward moments. Have a goal in your mind, get to it, even if you have to circumambulate. If you have something in mind, there will be no awkward moments.

Be sweet. Anyone can be nice, but only a few can be sweet. Flowers and candy are often clichés, but hey, they're tried and true and better than nothing at all.

Be happy. Smile. Laugh. Happiness is a contagious thing that's too few and far between the hectic life of too much business and not enough pleasure. Everyone wants to be with someone who makes them laugh.

Be intelligent. No high IQ's are needed, just good conversation that bounces back and forth.

Be unselfish. Give. Give gifts, give time, give pleasure, when you can, where you can, with what you can.

I'm sure there's a million more, but let's just stop here for now.

I remembered I sent the same list once to my lover years ago in a very long email. It still makes me feel good whenever I think about it...the whole thing, definitely a rarity. I wonder if he remembers, he must since he has a good memory. I sigh when I lingered on the memories here and there.

                  J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers

Why are women attracted to bad boys?

I don't know what the appeal was. Is it the urge to "save" or "reform" a man or to think a bad boy would actually change for them because they considered themselves more special? Or perhaps is it the excitement or thrill of something of the unknown? I remembered back when I was really young. The first boy that asked me out was considered one of those "bad boys" but I was attracted to him nonetheless. The fact that he was bold and have enough guts to ask me out made me liked him more, I wondered if it was because I liked his cool demeanor or his piercing cold stare. I was really young back then and didn't know anything about dating. I just said yes and that was it, we would pass each other in the halls but not say anything. I would occasionally steal glances and caught him looking at me with that intense stare and I looked away immediately. I've never been so scared, nervous and shy in my entire life. In fact, I was so petrified that during lunch I would sit at a different table across from him and I wouldn't eat. Why? Wouldn't / couldn't...could mean the same to you I guess. Those were the two years in my life that I rarely eat. Needless to say, my extreme shyness caused him to think I didn't like him so we broke up only after two weeks. I acted like any teenager girl, obsessed and depressed. I'd remember I'd practiced writing his name over and over...Eing, Eing, Eing as if it would make any difference. We never gotten over each other til we were much older. For me, it was because he was my first, the first guy to ever asked me out and the first that I really had liked. First puppy love you could say.

As I get older, the bad boy image doesn't really appeal to me anymore, although a guy with a bad boy facade without the bad boy attitude is still appealing to some. I've had people asked me what I look for in a guy and I always say that I know what I want and what I don't want in a person. They asked me what specific traits do I look for? I simply say that I only know that I have a lot of don't wants, and the wants seemed short and simple but not really. It comes down to the fact of the matter is what I'm willing to compromise on and what I will not tolerate. As it turn out, I can not tolerate a lot of things...too many things, even though I tried hard to overlook things. I wonder if it's because I myself not really wanting to be in a relationship hence I find anything in the other person not to like them? OR maybe I just don't want to settle, I don't want to have to "overlook" certain things and compromises too much. I think it's my personality type that makes me not able to tolerate traits in others that I considered as weaknesses. Sometimes I feel that my thinking is too complex that I don't even understand myself, but the thing is I want to understand everything. Nothing fascinate me more than understanding peoples' behaviors and personalities and understand oneself. Whatever it is I'm waiting for, I'll know it when I see it.

Makeup remover
Bioderma Crealine H2O. Shu Cleansing Oils. Ponds Wipes

Concealer
Koh Gen Do for under eyes. Cle de Peau for covering up spots.

Foundation
I find myself using less and less foundation now. My skin has been really good, in one of its best condition ever so there's no need to cover up. Unfortunately, I was a bit zealous thinking I was going to run out of foundation one day and so I bought a few bottles of Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk Foundation as back ups. I mainly use it as concealer or as needed now a days. I can't say that I really miss the feel on foundation on my face though. Awhile ago I did bought a lighter version of the LSF of which is the Giorgio Armani Skin Fabric, it's like a tinted moisturizer to me without making me too oily. My favorite foundation is still Stephane Marais. I've tried Cle de Peau Fluid foundation before and thought it was good too, I got a bunch of sample packets left which I'll bring with me when I'm traveling.

Mascara
I've always rely on Shu Uemura Basic Mascara but it is sadly discontinued. Another good alternative for those like really dramatic lashes is the Giorgio Armani Eyes To Kill, but I have yet to try it.

Blush
Shu Uemura M Pink 31 is a very reliable matte light pink that I've been using for years. Recently, I tried La Prairie Cellular Radiance Cream Blush and I absolutely love this. It give cheeks a radiant flush, this is the nicest cream blush I have ever used. The cream blush is silky to the touch and it gives a sheer but build-able color.  Cheeks feel nourished, not dry at all. I have Peach Glow but I really want Rose Glow now too, the only drawback is that it cost $70.

Lipstick
I've heard great things and have been wanting to try Tom Ford lipsticks for awhile now, but it's too expensive at $48 per lipsticks hence I think I'll wait awhile until I can swatch it at a counter.

Polish
Chanel Polish in Graphite. Lunasol Polish in EX16 Soft Silver Lighting, Spa Ritual Polish in Camellia.

Scent
Nothing speaks to me more right now than the scent of a man. Nothing aquatic or anything relating to the word "aquatic" that has been so popular in men colognes. Nothing too strong or bitter smelling either which are associated with many men scents. I just like a scent that will faintly capture my senses without assaulting my nose and my olfactory nerve.

Book
I have not read anything worthwhile lately. Through someone's rave recommendation and through my lack of judgement at the time I hadn't bother to check the review nor read the synopsis and went straight ahead to download a particular book. Little did I know it turned out to be a poorly written erotica book. Some may have heard The Fifty Shades of Grey is currently a bestseller, and while that may be true, the whole book was really bad, almost garbage. The book was poorly written, the main character is super annoying and insecure, and boy-crazy. The way the main character thinks is very unintelligent; every time this mysterious, dark and handsome man looks at her, she seemed to have another dormant personality that goes, "my inner goddess just did a double backward flip" or something to that very extent. My IQ seemed to have gone down after reading such a book, and there are supposedly two more books!

Food
I'm not craving for anything right now other than what I had when I was in LA last month, which was authentic kbbq and amazingly fresh sushi.

Song
I have certain songs that I reminds me of my beloved Mochi, such a song would be Di Johnston's You're Too Pretty. I think it will always be my favorite song for her. I've been listening to this song lately and makes me think of my baby hahaha weird.